My Wonky Relationship With Running and What it Has Taught Me – An Essay by Kelly Schoger

Right now it is 5:48am and I am already thinking about going for a run. Granted, I am blogging about it instead, but I have the entire day ahead of me to make it happen. And it will because I am already thinking about it. Other than my children and husband, it is top priority today. It is a top priority most days. There are so many reasons why I run, with a long sordid history and a rather unique outcome.

I ran track in high school. I ran the 400m, 400mx400m relay and 200m. I wasn’t the best, I wasn’t the worst…but I did it. It wasn’t really because I liked running; my sister did it, and was GOOD! and I typically did anything that she did because I was that little sister. And also, I really liked the social aspect of track. The running part was just something to do (and I later learned in college, helped keep the weight off.) So that running relationship lasted during high school. “I don’t really like it much, but it’s something to do and I like the people that are on the track team and there is a lot of hanging out, I don’t have to do much, etc.”

That’s me, sitting on the bench, white scrunchie in hair. white scrunchie.

In college my level of physical activity dropped drastically. My focus was elsewhere (mainly having fun.) But every year in December I would go on vacation with my family and for those two or three weeks I would run almost everyday. Not only would I watch my sister run, but my step dad is also a runner and so I continued to run too, so that I fit in and be cool like them. I wanted to be a part of their “group.” I would drop 5-10 lbs (no joke), my clothes would fit better, and although I still didn’t really like running, I was now starting to learn that a) I needed to exercise to offset the amount of alcohol and crappy college food that I put in my body and b) I was learning the art of determination and perseverance – I gained weight and it was something I never had to deal with before I went to college. But I found something that would take it off quickly, even though I didn’t exactly like it, I did it anyway because the end justified the means. And that was my running relationship from college to about 2005 – “I don’t like it much, but the end justifies the means.”

{I would like to note that I stopped typing around 6:02am because I could not sit here any longer writing about running….so I went for a run.}

My husband, Matt and I started dating in 2005. He had this photo album on a chair in his house and it was OVERFLOWING with photos and….race bibs. My husband, who is one of the most humble people I know, would never tell you this. But he is incredibly athletic and all of those bibs were from the mountain bike races, Xterra Off Road Triathlons, 10K’s, 1/2 marathons, and marathons he had done.  A few months into our relationship I asked him if we could look through it and he told me about his most favorite race, the Bolder Boulder 10K. That night, Matt made running sound fun (do you see the pattern here?) and inspired me to want to run. Because who doesn’t want to run through beautiful Bolder, CO with (old) belly dancers cheering you on, people passing out bacon, marshmallows, BEER, slip and slides, bands playing, with an incredible finish in Folsom Field with a stadium full of people cheering you on? That was that day that my outlook on running changed, it was the day I decided to sign up for my first race. DUDE, I DID NOT WANT TO MISS OUT ON THAT KIND OF FUN! My first Bolder Boulder was in 2006, I ran it again in 2007, 2010, and just a few weeks ago. (2008 was missed due to ankle surgery, 2009 and 2011 were missed due to babies.)

My first Bolder Boulder! F355 (Please take note that the other lovely lady in this picture is mentioned further below in this post (See: Carolyn) She also has been a pivotal motivator the past 7 years!)

What I learned from that first race is that if I have a goal to work towards, then I can totally stay motivated because I still didn’t always like to run. The races were fun, the sense of accomplishment was AWESOME! but the training wasn’t always pleasant. And so it often turned out that if I didn’t have race to train for, I would just kind of put my running on hold for a few months and find other activities to do.  But that feeling you get when you achieve the goal that you put so much into, it’s kind of addicting.

Plus, I am ridiculously competitive with myself.And what I mean is, that I am ridiculously competitive. period.

Until last year. Last year was different. Last year I was presented with a challenge I said I would NEVER take. (“A 10K is perfect, I never want to run farther than that.”)  I completed my first half marathon in Houston this past January. This was not my idea, this was Carolyn’s sick idea (Care (see above) is one of my best friends, we go back to middle school days. This would not be the first time I went along with one of her hair brained ideas.) But I am so grateful that she challenged me to do that race because it was something I would not have done without her encouragement. And so I trained, and it SUCKED, it sucked so bad (I got the flu a month an a half before my race.) But I pushed through, I had to come prepared and  I ran that race in 2 hours and 12 minutes and when I came home I was so jazzed up (because my goal was under 2 1/2 hours) that Matt and I committed to an even bigger challenge in September. We will be racing with Team Last Call at the Ragnar Relay Colorado. A 200 (ish) mile, 12 person relay race from Breckenridge, over Vail Pass up to Aspen Snowmass….over 48 hours, non stop.

I run Leg 9

Leg 9 is a 10K down Vail Pass, then 7 hours later a nice easy, flat 3.5 miler to be run sometime between 1:30-3:30am, and a strong finish with another 10K, up (UP!) River Wood Rd. in Aspen around 8:30 am. I am kind of scared shitless (but SUPER excited at the same time!)

Now that I am getting older and have more responsibilities and more worries and more anxiety, running keeps me balanced and I need it in my life or I get all sorts of crazy. It also forces me to carve out time for myself which I don’t often do now that I have the little nuggets. So having these races to train for helps keep me stay motivated. And thankfully, because Matt is the same way, he fully supports and encourages me (and on Saturday practically pushed me out the door to go for a run.) He knows I need it too.

On Sunday I went for a longer run and half way through I felt really good, really strong and I said to myself, “I do so like green eggs and ham! Thank you, thank you Sam I am!” (seriously, I did really say that.) with a big ‘ole smile on my face And I FINALLY decided that yes, after all these years. After all of this time saying “I’m not sure if I like running” which I have been indecisive about for the past 20 years or “I’m going to give up running after this next race.” Running is something I need to keep me balanced, healthy, and strong. It allows me to keep up with my boys and be a positive role model to them. It allows me time for myself, it has taught me lessons, determination, perseverance.  I have met some incredible people, and have taken on challenges I never dreamed of, and pushed myself in ways I didn’t think possible. Because it has done so much for me as a person I can finally say for sure, that I do love to run and I will continue doing it until my body no longer lets me.